Who needs handcuffs, rope, and cable ties when we have dangling modifiers, mispronunciations, and malapropisms! Here are the final 25 shades of grammar! If you missed last week’s Part One, click here.
1. You weren’t taken back by his comment (unless it was nostalgic): you were taken aback.
2. You are leaving the party. You say, “Thanks for having me.” Thanks for having me what????
3. This is a real peeve of mine. There are various iterations of it, and I know you have heard them:
- The reason is because . . .
- The reason why is . . . is that . . .
- What I mean is that . . .
My favorite is the double is, and I hear it all the time. Sounds as if the speaker is buying time, but it doesn’t buy much!
4. Silence is golden. It should be appreciated in speech now and then. However, people are uncomfortable with it, so they add filler words such as so and uh. Sometimes people use these words to hold the floor while they think of something else to say.
5. Yaddamean? = Do you know what I mean?
6. Youse guys is not a favorite—especially when the youse aren’t even guys.
7. I am waiting on someone to arrive. This one must be related to I was standing on line.
8. Ah redundancy! How can something be very unique? And you don’t need both also and as well together; or etc. and so on.
9. Menu items: Good food at it’s best. And martini’s. Fresh bean’s, potatoe’s, tomatoe’s, carrot’s, banana’s. You name it! We got it!
10. If you don’t really mean literally, don’t use it! I literally hit the ceiling every time someone uses it incorrectly!
11. Cringeworthy: I’ve know him since I’m little. Tense Alert!
12. Anyone who is trying to better themselves . . .(should know that anyone is singular, is is singular, and themselves is plural. And we don’t care that they can now be used as a singular. We don’t like it!)
13. Alot is two words—if you must use it at all.
14. Based off? It is based on. (But it is pissed off.)
15. I fell off the chair, not I fell off of the chair.
16. Someone wrote in: My “favorite” newscaster this morning said, ” The police are trying to open as much lanes as possible, ” right after her counterpart said,”There is an astonishing amount of accidents this morning.” Perhaps there are also two job openings?
17. He did it different. She ran slow. Who took all the ly‘s? We want them back. We don’t like flat adverbs.
18. Oftentimes. Apparently some dictionaries say it is okay. It is a variant of the old ofttimes. Since often means ‘many times, ” ofttimes, means “many times times.”
19. Where are you? Where are you at (yuck)? In Newfoundland they say Where are you to?
20. She screamed bloody murder. Have you ever heard “She screamed blue murder?” Some of you have.
21.Don’t you think that schools could make sure that their electronic billboards didn’t have typos?
22. The spice is cardamon. Not cardamom. There is no Mom in cardamon.
23. I’m really up the crick now! (It’s creek!! Long e!)
24. It’s not impordant to say congradulations!
25. You don’t graduate high school—or college, for that matter. You graduate from high school (or college)(maybe)
26. I know I said 25, but I can’t stop! Just a couple more! It’s not nipped in the butt! (ouch! Shades of Gray!)
27. If you are disorientated, you’re disoriented.
28. A favorite peeve of mine (and people I love dearly say it) seems to be product of the younger generation, and especially girls. Instead of ending their sentences with a question-like inflection, like some women are accused of doing (and do), girls now often end their sentences (boys too) with so-ha. (accent on the ya)
I hope you have enjoyed the 50 Shades of Gray Grammar! And I can finally announce that The Best Grammar Workbook Ever! will be out in a month or two. Definitely! So, ya.
I just thougt of another English peeve, the “double possessive”: He is a friend of Joe’s.
That is a good one!I hear that all the time. I probably even do it myself!
I’m glad you are here and writing this blog. I read it regularly and thoughtfully. I just wish I didn’t continue to make grammar mistakes! Poorly educated, but still learning! Thank you Arlene.
Thank you so much for the kind words! I will continue to write the blog and soon I will be putting the top 50 posts into a book. I am glad you like it!
I am daily harangued on my ‘finickiness’ (language evolveth, yeah!) about grammar.
This vindidates me, honestly.
I recently begab to gear this on CNN: ‘take a listen”. I guess it falls in line with ‘take a look’.
Ok. I just recently began to hear this on CNN: ‘take a listen’. I guess it falls in with ‘take a look’.
This also vindicates me. I am daily harangued about being too finicky about grammar.
This vindicates me. I an still laughing.
#16: ”There is an astonishing amount of accidents this morning.” Why isn’t this correct? That it may sound wrong is not a good reason since much correct English sounds strange due to lack of use! For simplicity and clarity, omit the adjective “astonishing” for now. So we have “There is an amount.” “Of accidents” merely modifies the singular (collective) noun “amount.” The same would hold true for the word “number” instead of “amount”: “There is a large number of accidents this morning.” Whatever that number (of accidents) may be, it is large. Perhaps the newscaster should simply have said something like “Many accidents occurred this morning.”
Arlene, please weigh in.
Since accidents is a countable noun, the correct word to use is number, not amount.It does still sound weird. Avoid the construction!
“Number” doesn’t sound weird to me: There is a large number (of accidents) this morning. I wonder if it’s like “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”; is “number” in the ear of the beholder? Despite all we’ve said, I have no problem avoiding the construction!
It is the same thing as less and fewer. Use less for things that cannot be counted (singular). Use amount for things that cannot be counted (singular).
We agree to use “number” because “accidents” is a countable noun. What about the verb? Would we say “There is” or “There are” (a large number of accidents today)? I have maintained “number” is a collective singular noun modified by “of accidents.” Therefore, “There is a number of [whatever].” Yet it does sound strange to say “There is a number of problems.” But sounding strange does not mean incorrect. I’m ready to drop this after your response, and I bet you are, too.
I would say “is.” Turn the sentence around. “A large number of accidents is being reported,” makes sense. Not “a large number of accidents are. . .”
Good idea to turn the sentence around. I can apply that to “A number of problems has been brought to my attention.” Thanks, Arlene.
You’re welcome!
Someone I was discussing this topic with–I mean, with whom I was discussing this topic, disagrees. Regarding turning the sentence around, she said the verb should be singular or plural based on whether the noun closest to the verb is singular or plural, e.g., A number of PROBLEMS HAVE been brought to my attention.
I don’t know if it pertained to this, but I recall that SOMETHING is based on the word closest to it ???
This sentence is entirely different. You can’t turn this one around because there is an action verb here. If with “number” you use the word that is the object of the preposition for agreement, that is a rule I don’t know. I don’t think you do. With All you do:
All of the cake IS gone.
All of the pieces ARE gone.
As far as closest to the verb: When you have or connecting two nouns and one is singular and one is plural, the verb agrees with the noun closest to it:
Either the boy or his sisters ARE
Either the boys or the girl IS
How about “That being said . . .”?
Inflated verbiage
I have two peeves–one I hear all the time; the other, I see written all the time:
If you are sick, you are “nauseated,” not “nauseous.” Nauseous refers to the offensive agent.
“Your” is the possessive form of you and NOT a substitute for “you are” (the contraction, you’re).
Agree!
These have been fun and a good catharsis! Some comments:
#2: Thanks for having me over?
#3, 9, 10: Agreed!
#28: ?
Also very annoying to me is using “goes” for “says”: So he goes, “What’s wrong with that?” (Note throwing “so” in.)
Good one! I have often heard “goes” for
“says” or worse, for “said.”
Well, that obviously should be “went” for “said.”
Very interesting lists. Thanks. I’m going to say that my pet peeve is language pet peeves. It’s language. Language is living and changing and growing as we use and misuse it. It cannot and will not be stopped. And it’s good that language is this way, or folk like us, who work with language, editing, writing, teaching, correcting, adjusting, amending, and so on, would be out of work. People are trying to express themselves as best as they can and it’s our job to suggest, clean or polish … or just leave it alone.
OK, number 16 is worrying. A news outlet with newscasters who cannot correctly deal with countable nouns is in need of a refresher course … or a new copywriter — that is, if news outlets have copywriters. Send a friendly comment to them via their website, note the usage issues and offer services.
We see number 9 often.
The answer to number 2 is ‘over/over to your place’ … ‘Thanks for having me over.’ It’s informal spoken English and I don’t think we could call it incorrect. So why the fuss? It’s a party. I hope your night wasn’t ruined for having so many people over.
For number 4 … uh … what’s the problem? We use fillers all the time while speaking. The less formal the conversation, let’s say over coffee or a pint, the more common the fillers. The more formal the context, the fewer fillers we should hear. People dislike silence in conversations and fillers help … well … er … fill an uncomfortable gap when talking.
In spoken English, we naturally link words, and some phrases link more naturally than others. Yaknowaddamean? In teaching English as a second language, I’ve taught classes about this kind of linking. There are even books to teach the classes! No, not to get students to speak that way. It’s so they can better understand what they are hearing. Two of the most common are ‘gonna’ and ‘wanna’, but there’s also ‘Whaddaya’, ‘Didja’, ‘Couldja’, etc.
I wonder if ‘wait on’ is a regional variant. Australian? If I saw this while editing, especially if the editing was for fiction, I’d look it up.
12 is acceptable these days, and if it hurts your ears and you want to do something about it, there’s an easy fix, right? People who are trying to better themselves.
We need to take care with flat adverbs. We can’t simply change every use we see. Stay close. Look closely at the photo. Dig deep. Breath deeply. Work hard. Hardly working.
‘Oftentimes’ is an archaic use of ‘often’, so if one were editing a period piece, it would be good to know that.
When we ‘scream bloody murder’, we complain loudly or unduly. When we ‘scream blue murder’, we make a loud outcry, often in protest or opposition. Probably good to look it up rather than simply label it a peeve and dismiss it.
Believe it or not, ‘crick’. is a regional variant of ‘creek’ in the upper North or Western US. Look it up. I often heard when I lived in central Illinois, the Midwest, as well.
To ‘graduate college/high school’ is correct but considered an informal usage. It’s best to stay away from this usage in a job interview or on a CV, but over coffee with friends, why not?
I really think we need to be careful not to equate pet peeves with incorrect language usage. That is not always the case. Even ‘Youse guys’ and ‘Where are you at?’ (or the shorter ‘Where you at?’) Have contexts where they fit well in our language.
Thanks again, Arlene, for the lists.
And thank you for the insightful comments, although you lean to descriptivism and I the other way! Also, I am just the messenger here! I pretty much took the peeves that people wrote to me without much question.
First of all, thanks for compiling this list and being humble enough to say when you don’t know something.
Second, I think there’s a typo in the last item on the list, unless I’m wrong about it:
“A favorite peeve of mine (and people I love dearly say it) seems to be product of the younger generation, and especially girls.” Should be “a product of the younger generation,” right?
Lastly, I’m surprised you forgot these two I see all the time:
1. Punctuation outside of quotation marks.
2. Incorrect use of “would,” even among my highly educated friends: “If I would have known, I would have come sooner.” It’s actually shorter to say it correctly: “If I had known.”
Yes, you caught a typo! It is so hard to seeing a little missing word in your own writing! I do see punctuation marks outside of quotations marks fairly often….I just figure they are doing it the British way! LOL
No one ever mentions the “would have known,” so thank you for that one!
Nice piece. With regard to number 12, I couldn’t agree more and find it frustrating that, in our dumbed-down and PC society, people have accepted the substitution of “they” and “themselves” when they should have used “he” or “himself” when referring to the singular. By the way, this brings-up one of my pet peeves which is the common use of “with regards to” when it absolutely should be “with regard to” or “as regards,” unless, of course, you’re saying “give my regards to Broadway.”
As regards number 15, I disagree. The word “of,” in that context, is usually just as appropriate; the absence of its use has become standard convention more recently such that either should be acceptable (because it still makes perfect sense). You should just be happy that someone didn’t say “I could of fallen off the chair.” That blatantly incorrect use of the word “of” should make you cringe.
With respect to number 17, I blame Steve Jobs. It was the Apple campaign from a few years ago that started this bastardization of the language, “Think Different.”
Thanks, Ben! I took comments at their face value, and a couple of them were incorrect: 1. off of, which is acceptable, and 2. cardamom, which is actually correct. Sorry about that!
Thanks for your 50 (53) Shades of Grammar.
Everyone is shocked at the outrageous sex in “50 Shades” but the most unbelievable and implausible thing for me is that an English Major actually gets a job straight out of college.
I wasn’t shocked at either the movie or any of the three books. Now what does that say about me??????
Very cleverly done
Thank you!
A new one I’ve noticed recently, particularly on the cable news shows, is people starting a sentence with “So.” But there’s nothing related to the “so.”
Hypothetical example:
Anchor: “What is the importance of that event?”
Interview guest: “So, it’s important because it was the event we attended.”
Me: So? So what!
Time filler and bad habit, I would think!
So this was also on my list!