Happy Holidays to You and Yours….Here is a little Holiday Humor for you!
- A Jewish guy’s mother gives him two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time he visits her, he makes sure to wear one. As he walks into the house, his mother frowns and asks, “What – you didn’t like the other one?”
- I once bought my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “Toys not included.” Bernard Manning
- For Christmas, I gave my kid a BB gun. He gave me a sweater with a bull’s-eye on the back.
Holiday Riddles: (answers below)
1. What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
2. What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
3. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
4. What does the Gingerbread Man use to make his bed?
5. How is the alphabet different on Christmas from every other day?
6. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad?
7. What do you call Santa’s helpers?
8. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
9. Why does Santa go down the chimney?
10. Which hand is best to light the menorah with?
11.What’s the best Hanukkah gift for the person who has everything?
scroll down for the answers….
1. “Wrap” music
2. An abdominal snowman
3. Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!
4. Cookie sheets!
5. There’s Noel!
6. A pineapple!
7. Subordinate Clauses (Ha! A grammar riddle!)
8. A rebel without a Claus
9. Because it soots him!
10. Neither, it’s best to light it with a candle.
11. A burglar alarm
A Christmas Quiz
- What’s the name of the period leading up to Christmas?
- How many Wise Men brought gifts to Jesus?
- How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
- What was the name of John the Baptist’s Mother?
- Who brings presents to children in The Netherlands on the 5th/6th December?
- How many letters are in the angelic alphabet?
- In what town was Jesus born?
- How many presents were given in total in the 12 Days of Christmas?
- In what decade was the first Christmas Card sent in the UK?
- What country did the family escape to?
- How many of Rudolph’s eight companions names start with ‘D’?
- What country did Christmas Trees originate from?
- Who was the ‘King of the Jews’ who ordered the babies to be killed?
- What’s the second line of “I’m dreaming of a white christmas”?
- What was Joseph’s job?
- Who started the custom of Wassailing?
- Who were first people to visit the baby Jesus?
- What’s lucky to find in your Christmas Pudding?
- What Angel visited Mary?
- Where did the baby Jesus sleep
scroll down for the answers…
- Advent
- More than one, the Bible doesn’t say how many!
- Deep pan, crisp and even!
- Elizabeth
- St. Nicholas
- 25; ‘no el’!!!
- Bethlehem
- 364
- 1840s – 1843 by Sir Henry Cole
- Egypt
- Three – Dasher, Dancer and Donner
- Germany – it was Latvia but it was part of German then!
- King Herod
- Just like the ones I used to know
- Carpenter
- The Anglo Saxons – it means ‘good health’
- Shepherds
- A six pence
- Gabriel
- In a manger
Thank you to the following websites for the funnies and the quiz:
Reader’s Digest Christmas Jokes
Hello Arlene,
Here we learn that 3 wise men came to visit baby Jesus, Melchior, Balthasar and Gaspar. They brought gold, myrrh and frankincense. They were following a star to show them the way, but some people now say it was Halley’s comet.
Thanks for the jokes and the trivia. I’m going to share them.
Happy holidays to you and your family,
Agnès
Thank you, Agnes. Happy New Year!
Amusing read. Thanks!
Thank you! Your comments are always appreciated 🙂
Happy Hanukkah !
Enjoy this holiday in your new home state!
All the best in 2020
Please keep blogging
Thank you so much! Happy Holidays to you! I will definitely keep blogging!
Thank you, Arlene. I love these things! Merry Christmas to you and your family. And a F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S. New Year!
Glad to make you smile! Happy Holidays to you and your family!
Happy Holidays. I hope you get a sun tan. 🙂
Happy Holidays!Sun tan??? It rains all the time! 🙁
Super. I PRINTED IT OUT TOP TO BOTTOM (Wouldn’t print side by side).
I printed it because it’s too hard to steal the jokes having to jump down the page so often.
Happy Holidays, Arlene.
Do they have holidays that far from the Pole? (Stan Whatyacallski, buddy from Chicago, asked me to ask you.)
At least you didn’t print it upside down! 🙂 I am not sure if we have holidays this far south, but I will see tonight when I light my Menorah — which has nothing to do with the Pole! Happy Holidays to you!!! Appreciate and love all your comments!
I’m bringing those riddles to Christmas dinner
but I’ll skip the Hanukkah joke
I know you are not a bigot, but that kind of joke is old fashioned stereotyping
Sort of like saying Black people have rhythm
I’m a Jewish mother and I would never say a thing like that
I sent my daughter a calendar made by a Palestinian art collective
Bigot???? I am Jewish and a Jewish mother myself. But I guess I take less offense at “Jewish jokes” that are stereotypical….I don’t see any harm in that stereotype, which could really be any religion. I do, however, take offense at other Jewish stereotypes.
Happy Chanukah!