Everything I Ever Learned About Grammar . . .

 . . . I learned from a seventh grade grammar textbook. 

 . . . when I taught seventh grade English not so long ago.

Yes, I was always good in grammar. And I excelled in Latin, which was a grammar-based class. And my parents, for all their frailties, spoke decently — if good grammar is either inherited or absorbed.

The topic for this post began as a compilation of grammar mistakes I have heard recently on the news, spoken by people you would think would know better. Then I realized that if I hadn’t taught 7th grade English, I probably would be making the same mistakes. Probably. But maybe not. 

Yes, I was a journalism major in college, but no grammar was taught as far as I can remember. However, I do recall that anytime I wrote anything for my journalism class, there was a plethora of red on my paper. I went on to be a newspaper reporter for a short while, still writing well enough, perhaps, but not great, grammar-wise or any other -wise.

Then I moved on to technical writing and then technical editing, where I probably began to learn some of the fine points of grammar, possibly using the Chicago Manual for the first time, although I had a copy in college. However, the Chicago Manual isn’t really a grammar book, and I don’t remember ever owning a real grammar reference including The Elements of Style (which I came to late in life).

But then . . . also late in life I got a teaching credential and was introduced to the Holt Handbook, the book my English Department happened to have adopted (and never changed my entire eleven-year teaching career). Who knew there were six types of pronouns? Who knew that predicate nominatives were one of four types of complements?  Who knew the true uses for myself?

Now, I did. I knew it all. Enough to write a dozen grammar books since that time and enough to know that this is a sentence fragment (for which we did receive a zero in high school if we had one in an essay).

But if I were a news broadcaster, would I have impeccable grammar — even if I had graduated from an ivy league school?

If I were a senator who had graduated from law school, or the head of a government agency, would I have impeccable speaking grammar?

Are these people always reading from a teleprompter that is written incorrectly?  (I don’t know.)

I know many of you are annoyed by the same grammar gaffs that I hear on the news. But before I continue, let me say that I listen to only one news channel, which I will not divulge. It isn’t Fox, and it is one in which most of the people on it have advanced degrees.

Here are some of the grammar goofs I have picked up on in the past few weeks:

1. Retweeted again – From the department of redundancy
2. At the same time, simultaneously – Another one from the department of redundancy. I have reason to believe this one was off the cuff and possibly said on purpose for effect.
3. On the same stage as him – A common goof; it should be On the same stage as he (since there is an is implied – same stage as he is on)
4. Infer used instead of imply – I was very disappointed when I heard this one. She very obviously meant imply. 
5. It is concerning – Meaning it is worrisome. I hear this one all the time. As far as I know concerning is not an adjective, as it is attempting to be used here. (Concerning is a preposition: I am calling concerning the meeting. Or it is a verb: I am concerned about the weather. Or it is a noun: This issue is of concern to me.)
6. Myself being used instead of I or me –  Myself is appropriate neither as a subject or an object. These are all incorrect: He and myself are going. He talked to Jim and myself. These are correct: I myself will be speaking. I am going myself. 
7. I and me confusion – We are still suffering from the overcorrection of me to I. Sometimes me is correct. Wrong: It is a puzzle to him and I.
8. Here is or there is or here’s or there’s followed by a plural –  The verb in those phrases is singular (is) and should be followed by something singular: Here is my plan. There is the city on the map. Not: Here’s the names on the list. There’s the locations for the new stores. 
9. Keeping in mind, number 6 above. I recently heard this one: I intend that to be myself. Is that correct, or should it be, I intend that to be me? I really don’t know, and I don’t know how I would even look it up, or if I would find it anywhere. Myself is appropriate when the sentence begins with I because myself is used reflexively (I did it myself – it bounces back to I) or intensively (I myself did it – it intensifies the I). In the case of something like I intend to call her, the same construction is used. There is an infinitive (to and a verb: to call). However, the subject doesn’t match the reflexive pronoun. But you would say I intend to call myself “Joe.” Here the subject (I) matches myself. Hmmmm……I think I intend that to be myself is correct, even though it hurt my ears when I heard it. In that case, the person who said it (Kamala Harris) is pretty damn good at grammar!

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The Grammar Diva is in limbo waiting for her house to sell so she can move to Florida! I have turned down a speaking engagement, a volunteer job with my writing group, and some editing jobs because I don’t know when I am moving. But I will continue to keep writing this blog and posting on social media! And soon I will get back to my dating memoir . . . and begin my business writing book (and other projects) . . .

 

Happy Summer from The Grammar Diva!