Someone mentioned to me recently that they were being driven crazy by the incorrect use of the pronoun myself. So, when I was looking for a topic for this week’s 
post . . .
This post is an old one that was run a few years ago, but I have edited it and rewritten parts of it to reflect my improved mastery of grammar 🙂 So I am not quite sure whether to call it a Best of the Grammar Diva or not. Whatever you wish to call it, I hope you enjoy it.
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One of my pet peeves — and I think it is shared by many — is the incorrect use of the pronoun myself. I have been hearing it more and more–or perhaps I have just noticed it more and more. I hear it on the news, in conversation, on television–everywhere. I imagine that people use myself when they can’t figure out if the correct word is I or me. Myself also sounds more erudite, so perhaps that is why people tend to use it.
Myself (along with yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, and themselves) is called a reflexive or intensive pronoun. The other reflexive/intensive pronouns don’t seem to cause trouble: just myself.
Here is an example of myself used correctly as a reflexive pronoun: I wrote that proposal myself.
Here is an example of myself used correctly as an intensive pronoun: I myself wrote that proposal.
Note that in both the above examples, the subject of the sentence is I.
Here are some examples of myself used incorrectly:
He gave my friend and myself some new books.
My neighbors and myself are having a party next weekend.
Joe read the letter to my sister and myself.
Okay. Can you see a common thread here? When is it correct to use myself? Fortunately, this is an easy rule to remember. In the first correct example, myself bounces back (as in reflexive) to the I at the beginning of the sentence (which is the subject).
In the second correct example, the myself emphasizes (as in intensive) the I at the beginning of the sentence (which is the subject).
In the incorrect examples, myself is being used as a subject or object, which is incorrect:
He gave my friend and myself some new books. (Here, myself is being used as an indirect object.)
My neighbors and myself are having a party next weekend. (Here, myself is being used as a subject.)
Joe read the letter to my sister and myself. (Here, myself is being used as an object of the preposition to.)
In most cases, you CANNOT correctly use myself in a sentence unless I is the subject!
Arlene,
When I was in the 4th grade, around 1952 or so, I had to go to the bathroom very, Very bad. Even though it was embarrassing, I raised my hand and when called upon, asked, “Can I go to the bathroom?”
My teacher answered, “Yes, you can, but no, you may not.”
I didn’t grasp what she was telling me, so I simply replied, “Well, please make up your mind because I’m about to pee my pants!
The whole class roared and she even cracked a smile and pointed me to the door. I barely made it!
– – Stew
The teacher’s comment was a common one, but I love yours!!!
When did these words become a problem? I’m sure I learned all this in school and/or by listening to my parents. It seems that these problems surface when someone is on camera or trying to impress someone else.
They have been a problem since I have been paying attention. Me an I have always been an issue. Now I hear those who probably want to sound impressive using myself instead (not impressive!)
I was in a restaurant with some friends. The waiter took our order to the wrong table and asked, “Is this for yourselves?”
I barely resisted saying, “Itself is not for themselves, it’s for ourselves.”
Good one. Yikes!
One more example of the intensifying aspect of ‘myself’: “I myself have seen it with my own two eyes!”
Yup! Thanks!
Dear Arlene,
I think both ‘I wrote that report myself’ and ‘I myself wrote that report’ exemplify the intensive use of ‘myself’.
This is how I understand the use of ‘myself’ as a reflexive pronoun:
‘I wrote a letter to myself.’
‘I’ve cut / hurt myself!’
Is that correct?
Technically, the reflexive is the one that “bounces” or reflects back to the I: I wrote that report myself. The intensive further emphasizes the I: I myself wrote the report. I am really not sure about your example “I wrote a letter to myself,” because in that sentence myself is actually the object of a preposition. In that case we would use me. However, I wrote a letter to me doesn’t sound right, so I would say it is a reflexive use.
I would say that example would have to be, “I wrote a letter to me” because ‘me’ is the object. The song title is also wrong as it should be, “I wrote me a letter.”
I still am not sure. Yes, it is a prepositional object in the first sentence you write and n indirect object in the second.But it still is being used reflexively, which would indicate the use of myself. ?????
Thank you for writing this column. I, too, hear “myself” used incorrectly all the time in varied situations. However, I have noticed that it is usually used correctly by people over the age of 50 and incorrectly by younger people. Perhaps the proper use of the intensive and reflective pronouns is just not being taught in American schools anymore.
I would say you are correct. We older folks seem to know more about grammar. I know that when I taught 7th grade English, the types of pronouns were in the grammar book, and I taught them. However, I think most English teachers probably don’t bother with it; I went pretty deep into grammar — of course! And then just because we teach it, it doesn’t mean they will remember it. I probably wouldn’t know the difference if I didn’t teach English!