Things have gotten pretty serious over the past week. I thought you might appreciate a little humor. Some of these you may have seen before, but others are likely to be new. Apparently, these are actual signs, headlines, ads, etc. Enjoy! (P.S. All typos are theirs!)
Students Cook and Serve Grandparents (headline)
Manure woman requires work. Not to heavy, 20+ hours per week (ad)
County Spelling Bee Postoned One More Time (headline)
Statistics Show That Teen Pregnancy Drops Off Significantly After Age 25 (headline)
Want to Spell Like a Champ? Read Wenster’s Dictionary (ad)
Midget Sues Grocer, Cites Belittling Remarks (politically incorrect headline – sorry)
Honey mustard chicken diapers with dipping sauce (menu item)
School Suplies (sign)
Employees must wash hands before living (sign)
One in For Kids Drops Out of High School (headline – and they work for this newspaper!)
One-Armed Man Applauds the Kindness of Strangers (headline – wrong word choice!)
Man Accused of Killing Lawyer Receives a New Attorney (headline)
Imagine More Snacks Than You Can Imagine (ad)
Bishops Agree Sex Abuse Rules (headline)
Child Care Provider. Apply in person, Jack and Kill Childcare (want ad)
Students Get First Hand Job Experience (headline – hyphens are important!)
Marijuana Issue Sent to Joint Committee (headline)
Tables are for eating customers only: No loitering (sign)
No Pubic Restroom (sign)
Correction: A headline on an item of the Enquirer Bulletin incorrectly states “Stolen Groceries.” It should have read “Homicide.” (newspaper correction – HUH??)
So Fun, They Won’t Even Know Their Learning (ad)
It Takes Many Ingredients to Make Burger King Great, but “Our secret ingredient is our people.” (ad)
Violators will be towed and find $50 (promise?)
Stay Well and Stay Calm
This is a ‘hobby’ I’ve had for several decades. I now have over a thousand newspaper headlines like this.
And remember, these are all written by (supposedly) professional writers.
Some of my favourites (or favorites)
Home Secretary to Act on Child Porn Videos
Jane Fonda to teens; use head to avoid pregnancy (Sorry!)
Chef throws his heart into helping feed needy
Those are wonderful. Thank you!!! 🙂
LOOK OUT
CROSSING CHILDREN
Multiple choice:
* I am always on the look-out for crossing children.
*I am always on guard for/with/against crossing children.
* I am always careful with crossing children.
* I am always very careful when crossing the street, Mummy.
Can you find the 6 (six!) different meanings?
* The police were ordered to stop drinking after midnight.
As one of my former students wrote (wishfully, I take it…):
* Well, Sir, one day I hope to introduce you to my financée.
Stay well!
(Unfortunately, we in the South of the Netherlands have to stay put…)
Thanks, Will!!!! I have to stay put on my house too; I am following California governor orders even though I have moved to Florida!
I’m always on the lookout for these misprints. I use them in class to make students aware of dangling or misplaced modifiers which are so easy to overlook. Thank you for the humour. We need it at this time.
You are very welcome! I used to use them for my students too. Thanks for the comment. Stay well!
Thank you, thank you! We all do need some laughs.
May I add one? There’s a sign in my yoga studio’s shower room that reads “Please remove hair before exiting shower.” Never fails to make me chuckle. No one listens, apparently. I haven’t noticed any bald women yoga practitioners.
Ha! That is new one for me!!! Thank you!
Stay well!
Thanks for tickling my funny bone!
You are very welcome. Thanks for reading. Stay well!
When I lived in NYC there were lots of Korean-owned produce stands. One advertised a common vegetable with the sign “colored greens.”
Oh My! Thanks for that one!
Oh, yeah!
🙂