Okay, by now I am used to sentences like this:
Me and my wife went to the hockey game last night.
My friend gave the tickets to Sharon and I.
They are wrong uses of I and me, and I have just about given up letting it bother me.
But…..
The misuse (and overuse) of myself is driving me crazy. I hear it everywhere, said by educated, brilliant people. Rachel Maddow uses it on her new podcast: This podcast was created by “whoever” and myself.
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Myself, as well as all the other pronouns that end in –self (yourself, himself, themselves, etc.) are called intensive or reflexive pronouns, depending on how they are used. They either bounce back (reflect) to the I in the sentence, or they emphasize (intensify) the I that comes before them:
I baked their wedding cake myself. (reflexive)
You might not believe it, but I myself baked that beautiful wedding cake! (intensive)
And those are the only two uses for those pronouns. They are not used as subjects or objects. So these are all wrong:
Jose and myself are taking a vacation to the Keys. (should be I)
Those books were written by myself a long time ago. (should be me)
It is all up to you and myself. (should be me)
Generally speaking, you use myself when the subject of the sentence is I. Likewise, you use the other pronouns that end in –self if the pronoun matches the subject. These sentences are correct:
He went to the beach by himself.
The queen herself is coming for dinner.
The baby is learning to walk by herself.
Simple. If you can use I or me and it makes sense, that is the correct pronoun to use, not myself (or any other –self pronoun):
This pie was made by me. (Me makes sense, so don’t use myself).
She and I work at the same place. (I makes sense, so don’t use myself).
Whew,I am glad to find this answer. I’ve watched as people everywhere, more and more, seemed to believe that substituting “myself” for “me” makes them appear “Intelligent.”
I nearly began believing that I was somehow missing out on changes? in grammar.
Thanks for putting my constant-grammar-evaluating mind at ease.
You are very welcome!
I thought I might be the only person left who cringes at the misuse of the reflexive pronouns. So glad to have found your site!
I am glad you found it too!!!!
I so agree. I hate the use of such pronouns. They even set my teeth on edge each time I hear one of them.
Like chalk on a blackboard — or should I say, like marker on a whiteboard???? Thanks for the comment!
I agree with you SO much, Arlene. It’s driving me insane!
Even people like Prince Harry use ‘myself’ in preference to ‘me’ and ‘I’
Is it the Queen’s English they didn’t tell us about? I hope not! 🙂
I am also bothered by the misuse, but I couldn’t have explained how it should be. Thank you.
You’re very welcome. Thanks for the comment.
I baked their wedding cake myself. (reflexive)
I am afraid I beg to differ here: I see this as also being intensive (or emphatic).
When the word is used intensively it can be omitted from the sentence: it merely intensifies/emphasizes something stated.
The sentence above could be written: I myself baked their wedding cake. (pronoun moved) or the pronoun could be omitted with no real change in meaning (although the emphasis will, of course, be lost): I baked their wedding cake.
When the pronoun is used reflexively, it clearly refers back to the subject, and it cannot be omitted: I cut myself. She saw herself as the brightest person in the class. We must pace ourselves or we shall not finish the race.
You are correct. So actually those examples make the -self pronoun the direct object – therefore, a reflexive pronoun can be used as an object.
LOL, I posted this, before noticing your correction:
I like your post, but you’ve erroneously categorized this sentence as an illustration of the reflexive case
(not “case” in a grammatical sense, but rather “case” as in “example”):
“I baked their wedding cake myself.”
This is actually “intensive”, as it clearly emphasizes the subject:
without that final word, the sentence stands perfectly well on its own;
with it, emphasis is placed on the subject.
Now here is an example of “myself” as a reflexive pronoun:
“I told myself not to go there, but my thrill-seeking tendencies won that battle.”
Without “myself”, the transitive verb doesn’t even have its required indirect object.
Thank you!!!!
I enjoy your columns/posts. This one made me wonder: What about those sentences that couple a misused “-self” with a possessive pronoun plus “elf”? For example, “They awarded the second-place trophy to both myself and my elf.” Or “Ourselves and our elves will attend the premiere.” Or “Don’t let herself and her elf get under your skin!” Without the “-self” part, wouldn’t the “elf” part seem absurd?
What is wrong with “to both my elf and me,” “Our elves and I”, and “her and her elf”?
No rhyme. Who makes mention of an elf without including rhyme?
Not Elf on the Shelf, that’s for sure!
Please do not give up on the incorrect use of “I vs. me” and beginning sentences with “Hum and Her”.😝😡
Never!
This is the biggest grammar annoyances for me. I hear it so often and I miss what the person is saying!
When my niece was 2, she often said “myself. She was an independent toddler!”
When someone tried to do something for her–not a full sentence, just the one word. But it was used correctly–“I can do it myself. ” [That little girl is now an attorney and is marrying the love of her life in a few hours.]
Ha! And congratulations to your niece!