What’s New? Neologisms

Neologism: neo (new) and logos (speech, utterance).

Neologisms are newly coined words or phrases that may be commonly used  but have yet to be formally accepted as constituting mainstream language.  Because of societal changes of all types,  language needs to evolve as well. So people create new words that express concepts or ideas that were previously expressed using other words or use words that may not have existed at all. Neologisms can be completely new words or just new meanings for existing words. 

Here are some examples of neologisms that are finding their way into the English language.

Google: To use an online search engine as the basis for looking up information on the World Wide Web.

404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message 404 Not Found, meaning that the requested document could not be located.

Spam: Flooding the Internet with many copies of the same message, in an attempt to force the message on people who would not otherwise choose to receive it.

App: Software application for a smartphone or tablet computer.

Noob: Someone who is new to an online community or game.

Troll: An individual who posts inflammatory, rude, and obnoxious comments to an online community.

The Washington Post Neologism Competition

And now for the amusing part: Every year The Washington Post runs an annual competition in which the readers of the newspaper are asked to submit alternative meanings to existing words. Someone has probably sent you these in an email at some time! Here are the winners for 2023:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulance (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over
by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that when you die, your Soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.Abdicate: to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

And here are some other humorous neologisms, made by slightly modifying words. Try to do one yourself. I have found them extremely difficult to come up with — and I have yet to come up with one.

Adulatery: cheating on one’s wife with a much younger woman who holds you in awe.

Burglesque: a poorly planned break-in. 

 Contratemps: the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in workers.

Crapacity: The size of one’s attic.

Deifenestration: to throw all talk of God out the window.

Elepants: too-tight jeans on broad-beamed people.

Emasculathe: a tool for castration.

Eruditz: A philosophy professor who can’t figure out how to work the copying machine.

Eunouch: the pain of castration.

Foreploy: any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.

Gargoyle: olive-flavored mouthwash.

Genitaliar: an image-enhancing object that can be carried in a man’s front pocket.

Giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high.Glibido: all talk and no action. (or how about gabido for “all talk no actio”? Hey, I made one up!)

Goodzilla: a giant lizard that puts out forest fires by stamping on them.

Guillozine: a magazine for executioners.

Guiltar: A musical instrument whose strings are pulled by your mother.

Hindkerchief: really expensive toilet paper.

Hipatitis: terminal coolness.

Hozone: the area around 14th Street.

Impotience: eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription.

Inoculatte: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Intaxication: euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Nazigator: an overbearing member of your carpool.

Osteopornosis: a degenerate disease.

Pectacles: gladiator movies.

Percycution: Giving your child a name he will hate for the rest of his life.

Pokemon: a Rastafarian proctologist.

Rectitude: the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Refiance: To replace your subprime boyfriend when your interest starts to vary.

 Reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Rococoa: Haute chocolate

Sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it.

Skilljoy: The would-be friend who’s a bit better than you at everything.

Suckotash: a dish consisting of corn, lima beans and tofu.

Vaseball: a game of catch played by children in the living room.

Thank you to these websites for the information!

Philosfx

Vappingo

I still would love to write a post about YOUR favorite books, either recent or not. Please join those who have sent me their lists: send to bigwords101@yahoo.com with “books” in the subject line. Thank you!