“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that had made all the difference.”
Robert Frost may have taken the road less traveled, but I feel I took the one more traveled — and it also made a difference.
I started thinking about this, when about a month ago, I ran across a manifestation video on You Tube. I am very interested in manifestation (which I will go into in another post someday) and watch a lot of videos by various people. But you don’t need to understand manifestation to know what I am talking about here.
This woman was someone I had never watched before and never heard of. I haven’t watched her since, and I don’t remember her name. I think I may have started another of her videos, but it didn’t grab me like the previ0us one did.
Most people who manifest are trying to manifest either money or a Special Person — in other words a soulmate, who is usually, but not always, an ex they want back.
I don’t even remember the exact words this person used, but I remember the gist of what she said. She asked,”Why do you think you have never found your s0ulmate? You are living the wrong life!”
That hit home. I believe that is true for me. Now, I have two children and a grandchild that I love more than life itself and to the ends of the Earth and farther. But if had pursued the “other life,” I wouldn’t know any better. That is, unless there are parallel universes where we are living multiple versions of our lives (let’s not even go into that).
I think I took the path of least resistance , pleasing my parents and making it more comfortable for me. Once again, disregarding the path that I did choose and its obvious high points, I think it was the wrong choice looking back. But maybe it was the right choice then?
I started writing poetry in childhood and songs in my early teens — either handwritten or on a manual typewriter. I must have written over a hundred songs. I had one of them made into a demo by one of those scam companies that said they would try to sell your song. They put my words to an awful melody with a terrible singer and made it a country song. Needless to say, that was the end of that.
Every week I read Billboard Magazine. I listened to my transistor radio constantly. My high school yearbook said my ambition was to be a songwriter. So I should have been New York City bound, especially since I was accepted with a scholarship to Barnard College (Columbia’s sister school). I would have majored in English (I didn’t have the background to get into a music school), but I would have been in the midst of the recording industry, especially when it came time to look for a job.
But I lived near Boston, Massachusetts and also got accepted at Simmons College in Boston with a scholarship. My parents didn’t want me to go to New York, I had a cousin who had just graduated from Simmons, and I could major in print media at Simmons, And I had morphed into wanting to write for Billboard Magazine if I couldn’t have a song on its charts.
So I went to Simmons, wandered from job to job, most of them connected to writing or journalism and most of them unfulfilling. I met a bunch of men who weren’t for me because my desire for someone in the music or entertainment industry never went away, as I more recently discovered. I ended up being a successful indie author, and for that I am grateful. I cannot complain about my life at all — but it wasn’t the one I truly fit into.
About a year or so ago, I was going through my mementos box, and I found all my songs. I was so glad I had saved them. I didn’t want to ever misplace them (as I had misplaced some important photos that I never found), so I scanned them all into my computer (and saved the hard copies). I went through them to see if any of them could be reworked and put to music. (Several of them have the music written down, but most don’t. However, it is easier to write lyrics with a melody in mind, so most of them had a melody in my head at one time.)
Over the years I have developed social media (and some in-person) friendships with music people. Recently, I found someone who is a well-known arranger, music director, and songwriter. He has worked with many music people I know and love. He is now putting one of my old songs to music, and we plan to make a demo. He gives me a great deal of credibility.
Maybe I am just a VERY late bloomer????????
I console myself (and often others) with the platitude that “we make the best decision we with the information we have at the time.” I’m sure that’s what you did as a young college-bound person–but of course that doesn’t negate later regrets. I always wanted to be a fiction writer, and only began pursuing it seriously in my late forties. So we’re both late bloomers!
Audrey – Thanks for the comment. I, too, think of that platitude! If you are a late bloomer, I am a later bloomer!!!!
Your grammar pieces and other writings are always good reads. Now here’s another reason to follow your story. I’m glad you’re sharing it.
Aw, thank you so much for your kind words. Greatly appreciated!