What’s in a Name?

Let’s go back to grade school this week. Remember when we (well, not “we,” but other kids) would make fun of some kids’ names or give them nicknames that were variations on their names? Those kids whose names could be made funny were really disadvantaged. How could their parents do that to them?? But then sometimes it was a last name, like Weiner, for example, and they couldn’t do much about their last names.

Then there are the adults who have names that match their occupations (or some physical feature). Some came upon the name naturally, but most probably made up the name. Take the singer Blondie, for example. Do you think her parents named her that? How about the dentist, Dr. Payne (I am sure there is one somewhere)? 

Names that match someone’s occupation are aptly called aptonyms. The phenomenon of a person’s name being a fitting description of their appearance or actions is called an aptronym (with an r).

Here are some examples for you. Some are real people and maybe real names; some are real people who have change their names to match themselves; some may be made up entirely!

• Usain Bolt – Sprinter, and I know he is real!
• William Wordsworth- Poet, and I know he is real.
• Amy Freeze – Meteorologist
• Dr. Tong – Dentist
• Crystal Ball – Psychic or political analyst
• Thomas Crapper – Plumber (real)
• Margaret Court – Tennis player
• Paige Turner – Librarian
• Sue Yoo – Lawyer
• Carrie Oakey – Bar host for song night
• Justin Time – Time management consultant
• Justin Case – Insurance Agent
• Betty Holmes – Realtor
• Lois Price – Used car dealer
• Dan Druff – Barber
• Crisp P. Bacon – Short order cook
• Rob Banks – Thief
• Bill Board – Advertising executive
• Barry Cuda – Oceanographer
• Dr. Pullam – Dentist
• Sonny Day – TV meteorologist
• Iona Trailer – RV dealership owner
• James Bugg – Exterminator
• Rick O’Shea – Physicist
• Tim Burr – Lumberjack
• Holly Wood – Actress
• Doug Hole – Construction worker
• Raven Smith – Woman with black hair
• Bob Little – Short man

My friend and I pass a veterinary clinic when we go out to lunch. There is a vet with one of those names; it might be Dr. Ratz. We have made up the rest of their staff: Dr. Katz, Dr. Fox, Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Wolff, and Dr Byrd.  And when I lived in California, there was a local chiropractor named Dr. Hammer. I kid you not!