Well, I thought it was over. But it isn’t that easy to give up something you have spent a great deal of time and energy on for over three years. Most people get into manifestation because they want something — usually love or money — and they don’t know how else to get it. They want perhaps more money than they can see themselves earning. Or they want someone who may not seem to be interested in them (that would be me). So they resort to “magic.” However, the manifestation coaches will say it is not magic.
Most young girls have crushes on celebrities, or at least they did when I was a young girl. Okay, I had a couple of minor ones, but then there was a really major one. I was 13 or 14 when it started. I was completely obsessed. I believe I sent him a birthday gift once. He did receive it, and he wrote me a handwritten letter (I am quite sure in his own handwriting) to thank me. I briefly met him a few years later. But he was a bit older than me, already getting married and having kids. And yes, this infatuation was why I began writing songs.
Eventually, he and his group broke up around the time I started college. I dated a fair amount, I guess. When I was a senior in college, I met the first love of my life. That was a whole mess that ended a couple of years later. I was now in my mid 20s. I was dating again, not very successfully. Finally, in my early-ish 30s I met my husband, married a couple of years later, had two kids, moved across the country, got divorced after 15 years of marriage, and started dating again. I met the second love of my life. That didn’t work out either, since we were both still in the process of our divorces.
In 2014, decades after last seeing this guy perform, I see the group is back together and appearing in California (which was a rarity). I went and at this point, we were all a whole lot older and they were a whole lot more approachable than when they were teen idols. I went into the green room and talked to them for a while. Social media had begun years before, and I was Facebook friends with one of the wives, and probably this guy whom I still adored.
Shortly after that, I found him on a now defunct social media site, and we had some possibly flirtatious conversation, although very brief. And I guess we were Facebook friends with no real contact.
No, the manifestation journey hasn’t begun yet, although I had heard of the Law of Attraction and had read about it. The Law of Attraction and the Law of Assumption are both manifestation “laws,” and quite similar. The Law of Attraction says your energy vibration must match whatever you want to manifest. In other words, be high vibe. The Law of Assumption says you must live in the end: assume the feeling that you already have what you want. Easier said than done — both of them.
In 2019 I moved to Florida, a place where old people live and oldies acts (which they were now) flourished and often appeared. In fact my guys appeared a few weeks after I moved here. They knew who I was by now, and we had a conversation at the merchandise table after the show. And then I saw them once or twice more during the ensuing couple of years. In March 2023 I saw then again. I had made some short Facebook comments indicating my interest in this man. I felt that he always flirted with me and talked honestly with me, as short as our conversations were, as they were all after their shows. But something was said at this March show that just led me to believe that it could happen. The manifestation journey began.
It began with the Law of Attraction. I was very high vibe (and hopeful at the time). I actually had tickets for three of their shows within a few weeks in several months. So I began The Project. I figured I had to look the best I could to “get” a celebrity who was also very nice looking. I lost over 30 pounds, got a new wardrobe with “concert clothes,” started getting my nails done, and a whole lot of other things (since I was in my — well, you can probably figure out my age). I didn’t get a facelift or anything drastic like that. But I did a lot, and I was really happy and hopeful. And I got what manifestation coaches call “some movement.” This man had never really commented on my social media posts, but he began to several times. It served to only encourage me further. I don’t really remember when I switched to the Law of Assumption, but it was probably after those three concerts.
The first concert went very well. We sat and talked for a while, with another member of the group encouraging it. We texted a bit after that concert. The second show went not as well. I was asked to help out at the merchandise desk. We talked, but he didn’t really seem interested in me. The third show went a little downhill from there. We did talk, but there is always obviously a crowd around. However, people thought I was with the band because of my appearance — a little overdressed at times, perhaps.
I still threw myself into the Law of Assumption, watching oodles of YouTube Videos. We messaged now and then, but my messages were much more frequent and longer than his. I saw several more concerts. No movement forward at all. But the manifestation coaches say that that is no indication of anything, so I continued focusing on him, visualizing mostly, which is one manifestation technique. The visualizing was fun and made me really happy. Until it didn’t.
Then I saw them a few months ago. He had a woman with him. She was introduced as his girlfriend. Then I was told she wasn’t. I talked to him just a little. I was really in a state, but I had two friends with me for support. She wasn’t pretty, she wasn’t young, and I could not talk to her or look at her. She was, however, intelligent and had a background similar to mine. But she lived a whole lot closer. I am 1500 miles away. She is 12.
Ever since that experience, my interest has waned.. My faith in manifestation has pretty much gone. It is hard to give up though. I wrote him kind of a closing thought asking for no reply. I likely wouldn’t have gotten one anyway.
But I still have not 100 percent given it up. Since the Law of Attraction seemed to work a little, I started to look into that again. I don’t think it will last. If it was meant to be, it would be. And it isn’t.
Now that the journey has ended, now do I fill that hole? I am reading a lot. And trying to play the keyboard better, which will aid my songwriting, which I am continuing! And I want to learn how to do the instrumentation and production of the songs as well…..my songwriting partner also found a girlfriend, and I don’t know where our collaboration is going, but right now….nowhere.
The last few months have been a little difficult after the high I had been on for the past few years.
And yes, I did write a song for him a couple of years ago. And yes, I did send it to him. And yes, he did appreciate it. I sometimes think we must have been lovers in another life. That is very likely where my lyrics for Another Place and Time came from. I wrote those lyrics when I was a young teen, and I am sure he was the inspiration..
Another Place and Time
I picked you out from the crowd.
I recognized your eyes.
I called your name out loud, but you didn’t reply.
Can it be you don’t hear me, though I’m right by your side?
And I know we were lovers in another place and time.
I call your name again.
I know that old, familiar smile.
But I don’t know where or when, and you still don’t reply.
Can it be that I’m dreaming, and it’s all in my mind
That I know we were lovers in another place and time?
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